My computer had been causing me troubles with Internet connection for about a month. I blamed the provider, of course, and yelled “Damn Wi-Fi!” every time I saw the hateful ring circling around itself. When the provider’s technician revised everything and replaced a cable and a router and still couldn’t open any web page he claimed that the problem was the laptop itself. Either virus or antivirus (ironic, isn’t it?) or any installed program could interfere with my wish to be connected to the world and had to be figured out and deleted. The technician said it wasn’t his job to check my PC and offered me to visit another technician or, even better, to get a new laptop.
I closed the door behind him, yelled “Damn you!” at my notebook and restored Windows deleting possible viruses and the antivirus and all the programs I had installed. Magic happened. I can see the world. Now I have to think carefully before installing all the old programs that caused my troubles in the first place.
The fury and frustration about the disabled PC made me think that, once in a while, my brain’s operational system needs restoration as well. Day by day it browses through new impressions and experiences, processes and stores them, counterattacks viruses of negative emotions and suffers from an invisible conflict that in the beginning slows down or blurs my perception, then affects my ability to respond to the happening events in the proper way, and in the end blocks me completely so I lose touch with the world and can’t function at all. I blame the provider, of course, whoever or whatever it might be, but the simple truth is I have to clean up my mind and get rid of all the setups that work against me. I wish I knew where the reset button is so I could press it and get back to my default configuration as fast as it was with my laptop. Or, I wonder, is it easier to get a new brain?