I had a friend who was in love with her car and called it ‘my dear little girl’. “Let’s go, honey,” she would normally say starting the engine. I found it amusing, but never felt the same way to any inanimate object.
I tried to be friends with many things I possessed. In the moment of purchase I would think of names that could help me to create the vibe of unconditional trust between us and make our relationship long-term, but it never worked, and I was there to blame. I was always the first to betray my newly bought pal as the next day already I would forget the name I invented. None of my laptops was addressed with a tender nickname, the usual words directed to the screen were “Damn, are you gonna work or not!” Things less intelligent than a computer never are considered worth talking to at all; on their luckiest day I dust them, and this is all attention they can hope for.
I can’t imagine what all the objects around me might think of my arrogance, but I don’t care if they gossip behind my back like Toy Story characters. Let them talk if they have something to say. I can’t hear them anyway and, truly, I prefer talking to people and animals, within latter ones cats are the best company because they can purr in respond.