Sketching

Friendship Forever?

When I was fifteen I met a girl I considered my best friend forever. We were together all the time, shared all our thoughts and secrets, and I couldn’t imagine that our roads might part.

Once at school a teacher discussed a concept of friendship and expressed her strong opinion that only then a friend can be considered the real one when you’re ready to sacrifice, to give off your arm, for example, to this person when she or he needs it. Then the teacher asked if any of us had a real friend.

I was the only one who lifted the hand; all other students looked at me with a mixture of disbelief and envy. Nobody was so sure about their life choices but me.

Later I talked about it with one of my classmates who was a smart and very peculiar person. She believed she was a famous poet’s wife in one of her previous lives and suffered for Christianity in the other. She also believed she knew better than others, and I was a kind of her promising protégé she was happy to elucidate. She asked me what made me think that this friend of mine was really the best.

“We have many common interests,” I said.

“Interests change,” she said. “What will be with your friendship when this happens?”

I shrugged my shoulders. I had no doubts about who my best friend was. Ironically, the same year the friend I considered the best and forever stopped being one. There was one event that provoked me to break it up, but even then, in the thick of overwhelming emotions, I knew that eventually it would come to this anyway. We were growing apart and the feel of trust and closeness was dying out.

I learned, not right then though, much, much later that when you are sure about something it doesn’t mean that you are right. You can believe in a wrong thing with the same self-convincing power, but the belief itself doesn’t prove something. Life proves. And to prove anything life needs time.

I met other friends I considered the best and forever, and most of them went away or just stopped being close. I still love them, but that’s a different story. Our lives don’t cross and as friends we don’t need each other anymore, we found each other’s replacements. And it’s Ok. Nobody can be with you forever. Nobody has to. These days I believe you need to refresh your life once in a while, and that includes people around you. But it’s just a belief that needs some time to be proven, right or wrong.

 

The Daily Post

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